The Christmas Story: Deleted Scenes

I saw this video in church yesterday.



I think the best part of this video is the Dalek.

Ode to Mashed Potatoes

*sung to the tune of Edelweiss from "Sound of Music"*

We love 'taters
Lovely 'taters
Mashed up all in a bowl
With some gravy and some butter
'Taters are good for your soul
And their fun to put your fork in and carve
Irritating your dad forever
'Taters, 'taters
We love 'taters
Hope mom makes a big bowl - of them!

May the Force Be With You

I don't know which is more hilarious - the fact that I know all the soundtracks that this song is composed of, or the fact that I was laughing hysterically through the entire thing. Enjoy!

Polka will never die!

Gotta love Dresden--

*****

"Calm down?" He waved a shaking hand at the door. "They're going to kill us. Just like Phil. They're going to kill us and we're going to die. You, me, Thomas. We're all going to die."

I forgot my bad leg for a second, crossed the room to Butters, and seized him by the front of the shirt. I hauled up until his heels lifted off of the floor. "Listen to me," I snarled. "We are not going to die."

Butters stared at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on his shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die."

He blinked.

"Polka will never die!" I shouted at him. "Say it!"

He swallowed. "Polka will never die?"

"Again!"

"P-p-polka will never die," he stammered.

I shook him a little. "Louder!"

"Polka will never die!" he shrieked.

"We're going to make it!" I shouted.

"Polka will never die!" Butters screamed.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Thomas muttered.

care for a cup of coffee?

Flying Squirrel

One of the highlights from my Sunday:



Getting to hold and pet a flying squirrel.

Doesn't matter that he's part of the squirrel mafia. He was still the cutest (and softest) thing ever.

Loser's Music

I'm sure that this store didn't intentionally mean to bring the word 'loser' to mind whenever someone thinks of their store, but with a name like that, you just can't help it. Looking at their logo, you can clearly see they mean for you to say 'loser' with a long 'O', but that's just not really possible.

So I'm sorry. No winning music allowed. The only music allowed is for losers. XD

Have a Cow

I walked over to Karen's office as I was posting next week's schedule, and one of the regular stops on that trek is through her office. I took my animal crackers with me, for I was hungry and needed that last minute sugar rush to get me through the last hour of the day.

I knew immediately upon entrance to her office that she was frustrated about something. Offered to help if she needed it, though there really wasn't much she said I could do. She did start to vent because of her frustrations and in an effort to cheer her up, I set my crackers down, pulled the first one out to hand to her, and immediately put it right back because I'd noticed it's head had been broken off. So I grabbed the next one, which I only recognized because of the udders.

"Here, have a cow."

It was only then did I realize what I had said.

We then spent about 5 minutes going back and forth, amidst bouts of hysterical laughter --

"You planned that, didn't you? You really do want me to have a cow over this!"

"No, honestly, I swear, that didn't even cross my mind."

Maybe you had to be there. It was really funny none-the-less.

Take Your Squirrel Into Work Day

I arrived home late last night to see that my father'd left his truck at work. Which automatically clued me in to the fact that he'd need a ride into work the next day. No problem.

I walked in to the house, after scaring away (not intentionally) the two cats that were outside our front door howling like the world was about to end. Commence general discussion of the day, which included guesses as to what in the world could the cats be doing.

My mom casually adds, "Oh, by the way, you're going to have two passengers to work tomorrow."

I raise my eyebrow, or at least attempt to, since I can't do that very well, and manage to look sufficiently confused. I ask, "Well, Daddy, I figured, but...?"

She smiled as she said, "And the Eastern Grey Squirrel we trapped that's outside on the back porch. Didn't you know tomorrow is Annual Take Your Squirrel to Work Day?"

Um, no, I failed to get that memo.

Apparently we've had a squirrel in our attic who has been trying to make his home up there amongst all our boxes and possessions, and my father would have none of it.

At this point, many thoughts of the network of Newark squirrels attempting to take over the world one house at a time came rushing through my head, but to try and explain NUSA would just take too long, and you'd probably all look at me like I was weird or something anyway if I told you, so I'm not even going to try. Or at least, not at this point. That might be some other day's post.

So instead, I laughed hysterically at the prospect of celebrating such a day, then proceeded to visit the back porch in an attempt to try and see him (which proved unsuccessful as he was being quite uncooperative), and then took him for a ride this morning in the trunk of my car.

After we got to work, I tried again to look at him, and was rewarded with a great hiss of fury from the little furball who was running about like mad underneath the sheet that was covering the trap.

So get on out there, find a squirrel and take it with you to work today!

(As an aside, he was captured humanely and as this is typed up is being let go in the wilds that is Brandywine Creek State Park. Meaning, we're trying to make sure he stays as far away as possible from our house.)

A Valentine's Day Syllogism

Major Premise:
Chocolate is made of cocoa beans.

Minor Premise:
Beans are legumes, and are therefore very good for you.

Conclusion:
Therefore, chocolate is very good for you.

The end.

Christmas Dream: 12/16

I had received an email stating that Parson Brown was sick and had just had surgery and was therefore unable to perform any marriages this holiday season due to being under the weather.

Snow Angels!

Making snow angels is so much fun!

Always Winter, Never Christmas

First snowfall:
Wednesday, December 5th

Yay!

It has been too long since I made snow angels!

Things for which you are grateful:

Thanksgiving will arrive soon, and if you celebrate such holidays, you might begin thinking of things for which you are grateful. Some suggestions follow.

1. Pocket-sized notebooks in which to take notes.
2. Bittersweet chocolate
3. William Maxwell's bittersweet novel, So Long, See You Tomorrow
4. All things bittersweet
5. Good, strong coffee
6. Good, strong bodyguards
7. Not being kidnapped

Happy Thanksgiving!

Knack of Flying

"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." -Douglas Adams

I seem to have trouble remembering how to miss the ground every time I go flying.

Translation: I took a bit of a spill over the weekend. What tripped me up? My bed. I kid you not. The sheets on my bed decided to stick their feet out and knock me over. And into my chest of drawers, bed and subsequently, onto the floor, thereby causing me to almost knock over my brother's guitar.

I now have a nice rug burn up my left arm, on my left knee and a sore lower back.

Truthfully, though, it had me heartily amused.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Some people call this time of year 'autumn.'

Others call this time of year 'fall.'

Still others wish that people would stop arguing about it.

Happy October!

So What You're Saying Is...

I have to thank Sara E., Jen V. and Joe F. for a most entertaining and enlightening conversation last night! I haven't been that random in a very long time.

"Save the whales! Ahhhh..."

White Out!

This has been no end of help to me in my job today! I won't say what it was that I had to white out, but it was used for a rather large mistake on a rather prominent piece of literature that quite a few people will be seeing. It would be easier if I did engage brain once in a while. Thankfully, I get a very good laugh out of it now.

Welcome to the Monkey House!

Back in May, I got to visit the Baltimore Zoo with my dear friend Tracey. My good college friend Megan works there, and being on the inside, got us in to visit the monkeys! My favorite part of the tour was getting to feed the lemurs mulberry branches!

This is Brutus with his branch. If I'm not mistaken, he is the one that has the lazy eye (though you can't tell it from these pictures).

Meet Crispus and Leo! These two definitely loved to jump all over the place! It was fun to watch them jump over our heads and grab the branches.

We had to wear those surgical masks over our faces, so as to avoid the spreading of any nasty germs between both parties.

And I had to post another picture of some of my favorite lemurs. "I like to move it, move it!"

Arrr, Mateys! Savvy?

Since it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I be making this log entry a bit more piratey. Savvy?

'Twas a fine day o' plunderin'.(1) Me scurvy dogs in me crew walked the plank, and naught but a couple of 'em tried to take me with 'em. (2) 'Bout time to weigh anchor(3) and I be hopin' to meet up with me hearties for a night o' pillagin'.(4) And if any of ye landlubbers try and mutiny(5), it be the keelhaul for 'em.

*Translations:
1. work
2. My co-workers and I used our breaks today to take a walk, because it was absolutely gorgeous outside.
3. Leave
4. Meet up with GAP North for Bible study
5. slow rush hour drivers causing traffic

*~*

I like this day. Argh.