I Built Myself A Life

Resurrection

2011-04-07T16:31:00.000-04:00

It's aaaaaaaliiiivvvvveeee!!!

Stepping Through the Wardrobe

2009-04-02T09:28:00.003-04:00

The room didn't look like much. Just a bare floor, bare walls, rain on the window outside--the only furniture in it was a giant wardrobe with the most curious carvings of trees and animals, the like of which I've never seen in this world. And then, like magic, the wardrobe doors opened. And when we stepped inside, it was like another world. The fur coats hanging in rows on either side gave way to pine boughs, and snow was falling gently in the forest. A lamp-post burned brightly nearby, though there were no houses or electric wires that I could see. But we were eager to explore, so we continued on our way.

It looked like winter, at first-- there was a frozen waterfall that we'd thought to climb, but it made our hands too cold. And we passed by a faun's house, a witch's icy throne, and other such things. But winter quickly gave way to warmer seasons, and the land changed. Instead of ice and snow, there were ruins and castles and odd talking creatures living in hiding among the trees. We saw arches being built, catapults being launched, the crowns of kings and queens, and the promise of a fantastic upcoming voyage to sea. But then we passed an arch where a lion spoke to us and said it was time to go back to our own world. So we stepped through the doorway...and ended up back in Philadelphia.

Drat.

(Description courtesy of a much better writer than I. But it still applies.)

Church Spire!

2009-03-12T15:24:00.003-04:00

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-23T17:00:00.002-05:00

I'm out of the office until Monday starting now for the Christmas holiday! Merry Christmas to all!

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.'" Acts 17: 24-28

Christmas Miracle

2008-12-11T17:09:00.000-05:00

My cousin's son, Caleb (age 4) was born with some sort of heart defect. He had to have open heart surgery when he was just a few days old. It had recently been determined that he still had heart issues - something called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Connection (TAPVC). His heart wasn't growing the way it was supposed to; I think in layman's terms, his ventricles were squeezing his heart into an hour-glass shape. At least, that was what was determined when they took the ultrasound on him a month ago.

He was scheduled for surgery today and tomorrow at A. I. Dupont Children's Hospital, but when the doctors went in to put a catheter in, they couldn't find anything wrong with heart.

And I believe in miracles. And that prayer changes things.

The doctors determined that he has some type of athsma, and will of course be continuing to watch him, especially since he was born with a heart condition. But I guess God's ways are higher than ours.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

Proud Sister!

2008-12-10T09:49:00.000-05:00

My youngest brother was accepted into Liberty University last night!

National Cookie Day

2008-12-04T17:40:00.002-05:00

In case you didn't know it, today is National Cookie Day. Here are some of my favorite cookies to make during the holiday season!

Holly Cookies

1 (10 oz.) package marshmallows
1/2 c. butter
4 1/2 c. corn flakes
1 tbsp. green food coloring
cinnamon candies, or red-colored sugar

1. In a saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Add the marshmallows, and melt. Add food coloring. Mix in the cornflakes cereal.
2. Drop either by spoonful or by clumps (depending on how big you like them) onto wax paper. Add cinnamon candies or sugar.

Kris Krinkles (or Snow-Topped Chocolate Mint Cookies)

2 cups mint semisweet chocolate chips, divided
6 tablespoons butter (no substitutes), softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
confectioners' sugar

1. In a microwave, melt 1 cup chocolate chips; set aside to cool. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the melted chocolate chips and vanilla. Combine flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to the creamed mixture. Stir in the remaining chocolate chips. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or until easy to handle.
2. Roll into 1-in. balls, then roll in confectioners' sugar. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10-12 minutes or until edges are set and centers are almost set. Cool for 10 minutes before removing to wire racks.

Note: When I made these last week, I didn't have mint chocolate chips, but instead used half semisweet chocolate chips and half white chocolate chips and 1/2 tsp. of mint extract. The semisweet chips I melted, not in the microwave, but in a pan over hot water because the microwave I was using has a tendency to burn melting chocolate. The white chips I stirred into the dough.

Butter Cookies

1 cup butter or margarine, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add egg and vanilla; mix well. Combine flour, baking powder and salt; add to creamed mixture and mix well.
2. Place the dough in a cookie press; form cookies on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 375 degrees F for 6-8 minutes or until set but not brown. Cool on wire racks.

Note: When I made these last week, what I did was cut out two different sets of cookies, one round-shaped for the bottom cookie, and then a thin circle with a hole in the middle for the top cookie. After they were finished baking, we spread strawberry jam on the bottom cookies and placed the thin circle on top. So it was twice the amount of work for one cookie, but it was well worth it in the end. And it wasn't exactly this recipe, but it was close enough.

Enjoy!

The Christmas Story: Deleted Scenes

2008-12-01T09:39:00.003-05:00

I saw this video in church yesterday.

I think the best part of this video is the Dalek.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-25T16:52:00.001-05:00

Psalm 100
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Ode to Mashed Potatoes

2008-11-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

*sung to the tune of Edelweiss from "Sound of Music"*

We love 'taters
Lovely 'taters
Mashed up all in a bowl
With some gravy and some butter
'Taters are good for your soul
And their fun to put your fork in and carve
Irritating your dad forever
'Taters, 'taters
We love 'taters
Hope mom makes a big bowl - of them!

To Do When I Get to Heaven #2

2008-11-17T10:07:00.004-05:00

Sit down with my great-grandmother, have a good long talk and enjoy a good cup of tea.

Esther Louise Dempsey
February 14, 1916 - November 15, 2008

We'll miss you, but we know where you are. You are at peace, you are finally in your right mind and no longer sick, and you are much happier than we are. Pop and Poppa were probably wondering what took you so long to get there.

Love you, Rammy.

May the Force Be With You

2008-11-12T11:00:00.002-05:00

I don't know which is more hilarious - the fact that I know all the soundtracks that this song is composed of, or the fact that I was laughing hysterically through the entire thing. Enjoy!

Videos

2008-10-10T11:55:00.001-04:00

A couple of videos/songs that have meant a lot to me these last few days.

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes from Brandon Heath on Vimeo.

To Do When I Get to Heaven #1

2008-10-03T09:29:00.001-04:00

Play the violin solo at the beginning of Fiddler on the Roof.

It's like Heaven.

Choose or Lose

2008-09-29T12:05:00.000-04:00

A video that MTV.com came into Delaware take that features my very good friend Steve. About Senator Biden's bid in the upcoming election.

Steve and I went to Morocco this past summer.

And go Steve for not being afraid to voice your own opinion!

Polka will never die!

2008-09-19T16:21:00.018-04:00

Gotta love Dresden--

*****

"Calm down?" He waved a shaking hand at the door. "They're going to kill us. Just like Phil. They're going to kill us and we're going to die. You, me, Thomas. We're all going to die."

I forgot my bad leg for a second, crossed the room to Butters, and seized him by the front of the shirt. I hauled up until his heels lifted off of the floor. "Listen to me," I snarled. "We are not going to die."

Butters stared at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on his shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die."

He blinked.

"Polka will never die!" I shouted at him. "Say it!"

He swallowed. "Polka will never die?"

"Again!"

"P-p-polka will never die," he stammered.

I shook him a little. "Louder!"

"Polka will never die!" he shrieked.

"We're going to make it!" I shouted.

"Polka will never die!" Butters screamed.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Thomas muttered.

Vacation!

2008-09-19T16:21:00.015-04:00

I took a vacation to Virginia Beach September 10-13. Here are pictures!

Spent all day Thursday at the beach. It was windy and warm, once the sun finally decided to show itself!

The statue of Neptune at the beach.

Becky and I at the Naval Base in Norfolk.

Me and my awesome cousins, Danny and Karissa, who let us stay at their house for the weekend!

The nuclear submarine U.S.S. North Carolina. Danny used to be in the Navy (is now in the Reserves) and we were allowed in and on board and given a tour. Now I can say I've been on a nuclear sub. Danny's current job? Building these things (and also the carriers too).

Bet you didn't know that swearing is illegal in Virginia Beach!

Becky and I at the Music Builds Concert.

Jars of Clay.

Switchfoot. I think this is when they were playing "This is Home." Which was one of my favorite performances of theirs. Especially because of the Narnia (and Heaven) references.

Third Day.

And the encore had to be the best ever. All three of the groups came up on stage together (along with a guy from the fourth group who had been playing) and they all did a cover of U2's "When Love Comes to Town." Absolutely amazing.

Without a doubt, it goes down as one of the best vacations I've ever had. (The concert goes down for best ever. Hands down.)

Lay Down Softly in Our Sorrow

2008-08-21T12:58:00.000-04:00

But the God that sometimes can't be found
Will wrap Himself around you
So lay down, sister, lay down

Slower passing are the hours
To tell this tale that takes its time
The finest moment, no man can measure
Is to look your Savior in the eyes

-'Rita' by Bebo Norman

Accomplishment

2008-08-14T12:47:00.001-04:00

I stepped on the scale this morning, and weighed 20 pounds less than I did a year ago at this time!

Change

2008-07-23T10:22:00.002-04:00

Today, the walls and structure of the sanctuary here at the church came crashing down.

Wedding Highlights!

2008-06-16T17:35:00.003-04:00

Julie and Tim are officially married now! Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Singer!

Highlights:
-Being a part of the bridal party.
-Ball and chain.
-Getting myself a manicure and pedicure (never had a pedicure before).
-Brunch with the bridesmaids and bride at Bob Evans.
-The groomsmen. They were hysterical!
-Talking with Bethany and getting to know Susannah and Lydia better (three of the other bridesmaids)
-Seeing Keith in action (the photographer, who was a good friend of mine and Julie's from marching band in college).
-Climbing a rockwall in my bridesmaid's dress! (No lie - Keith made Julie get up on it in her wedding gown!)
-Having Chad for a groomsman. He was a good friend in my college days; we both went to IV together. Lucky me, I was only one of the bridesmaids who actually knew her groomsman.
-Watching Tim & Julie say their vows.
-Mama Z's wedding cake! It's the best ever!
-Talking with Papa Z about some things that had happened in the past and clearing the air.
-Fondue!
-Dancing.
-All of the compliments, both in regards to the wedding program and our dresses, hair, etc.

And way too many others.

Pictures will be forthcoming, when I can find time to get mine off my camera. And when others begin to post them.

In the meantime, here is a sincere apology at the lack of posts of late. Between helping to plan a wedding, the church's building project swinging into action and getting things ready for Morocco, I have found it really hard getting half-decent posts up. I still can't promise much before Morocco, but hopefully after, things will settle down somewhat.

care for a cup of coffee?

2008-05-28T09:52:00.002-04:00

Hebrews 11:13-16

2008-04-30T09:07:00.000-04:00

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country -- a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Concealing any bodies?

2008-04-24T17:07:00.004-04:00

Yesterday morning, I turned out of my development to head to work, and was greeted with traffic on my road. There's usually not much traffic on my road - only the occasional back-up when there are lots of cars coming out of the Catholic church. This time, there was dead-stopped traffic. And a cop car in the entrance way to the church, with a cop in the middle of the road. He had stopped traffic from completely getting down our road and into the two developments off of the road, and was intermittantly letting traffic out, after first stopping each one, speaking with the driver for a few brief moments, and then checking their license plate/tag.

I automatically assumed that it was one of those 'license/seat belt/registration' stops that I've seen every now and then around the state. So I grabbed my license/registration/insurance cards and waited paitently for my turn in line.

When it came my turn, I was greeted, not with a request for identification, but with an apology.

Police Officer: Good morning, ma'am. Sorry to inconvience you this morning, but we're investigating an incident that happened early this morning in Scottfield [i.e., the development directly across from mine]. We just want to make sure you're not concealing any stowaways in the backseat or trunk of your car.

Me: *shock* Oh. Um. Okay.

PO: I can see by looking in the window to your backseat that there's no body in the back seat. Would you mind popping your trunk so I can make sure there are no bodies in the trunk?

Me: *quirks eyebrow* *briefly nods* *pushes button to pop trunk*

PO: *quickly glances in* Okay, ma'am, I can see you're not hiding someone in your trunk. *closes trunk* Is this your car?

Me: *nods*

PO: Alright then, I'll just get your license/tag numbers and you have a good day, okay?

Me: *nods* *drives off*

I was so surprised by the conversation that I didn't think to ask what sort of incident they were investigating, but had made up my mind to ask my News Journal friend if she knew of anything going on.

She didn't, but said that she would do a little digging, and got back to me with the news around three o'clock yesterday afternoon. Apparently, there had been a break-in, followed by a rape, in Scottfield yesterday morning around 7:30. He had been seen fleeing the scene on foot, but hadn't been apprehended. And so consequently, the police had stopped all traffic flow going into and out of (pending checking) the developments, in the off-chance he might have snuck in a car, or someone was trying to sneak him out.

Yes, I was quite shocked, especially because of the close proximity to my house. But I'm not scared or worried or anything (I do hope they catch whoever did that awful crime). I am just planning on staying safe and using extra procaution until further notice.

Late yesterday afternoon, my News Journal friend called me to ask me if I'd give an interview to another one of her reporter friends who was doing an article for it, and then she ended up calling me later yesterday evening. She told me that she'd been able to speak to several people living the neighborhood directly near where it happened, but hadn't been able to locate anyone in a car that had gotten stopped. So I got to be the lucky one.

I just told her everything that happened, and you can it in today's edition of The News Journal (section B, page 2, if you've actually got a hard copy of it).

Flying Squirrel

2008-04-21T08:23:00.001-04:00

One of the highlights from my Sunday:

Getting to hold and pet a flying squirrel.

Doesn't matter that he's part of the squirrel mafia. He was still the cutest (and softest) thing ever.

What Can $1 Really Do?

2008-04-17T10:26:00.001-04:00

Here's your chance to do something that may seem to be insignificant, but has a huge impact! Terry has the opportunity to do a creative little experiment to help a local Wilmington homeless man named Herman.

He's attempting to raise some funds for Herman (for which he has a matching donor), but there's a catch: anyone who wants to give can only give $1. Yup - only $1. You might think it's a silly idea, but if Terry can get 500 other people to give just $1, then his donor will match it dollar for dollar for a total of $1000.

He isn't going to be giving Herman the cash. He has been taking time over the past year to develop a relationship with him, and knows what sort of needs he has, and so he plans on using the monies collected to help Herman in a much more significant way. You can read about it in his post for more details, but the gist of it is this:

1. Comment here on his blog.
2. Leave your first name and your city/state and tell him, "I'm in."
3. Follow through by sending $1 to:

Herman's Bridge
PO Box 363
Montchanin, DE 19710-0363

I'm in! Spread the word to your friends and help share the love of Christ in this way!

"He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor." 1 Samuel 2:8

Loser's Music

2008-04-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

I'm sure that this store didn't intentionally mean to bring the word 'loser' to mind whenever someone thinks of their store, but with a name like that, you just can't help it. Looking at their logo, you can clearly see they mean for you to say 'loser' with a long 'O', but that's just not really possible.

So I'm sorry. No winning music allowed. The only music allowed is for losers. XD

"Measure for Measure - How to Write a Song and Other Mysteries"

2008-03-28T17:08:00.002-04:00

The actual link to the NY Times blog.

March 26, 2008, 2:38 pm
Words Will Tell
By Andrew Bird

In about a week I will load up my car with amplifiers and guitars and drive to Nashville to begin recording my next record. I don’t drive much anymore and I’m glad for that except that I used to write a lot while on the road. Solitude, boredom, and the desperate need to entertain oneself are ideal stimuli for songwriting.

I’ve spent most of the last year inside a tour bus. I’ve spoken more words to journalists than I have to my friends and family. All of this has kept me from what I realize now is my job, and that’s to daydream. Now I bring my bike on tour and ride every day. Wandering in an unfamiliar town, the rhythm of walking or riding and a few hours to kill is nearly the perfect recipe for a new idea.

I’ve got 11 songs mostly written and several dozen distinct melodies. I never worry about the melodies drying up. Since I can remember, I’ve had melodies in my head. I chew my food to them.

Almost every breath contains some fragments of an escaping melody. If I shape my lips so as to whistle, my breath will take on a musical shape like sonic vapor. Words are much trickier. I would forgo words altogether if I didn’t love singing them so much. My choice of words and my voice betray so much and that’s what’s so terrifying and attractive about it.

I’m not the most forthcoming person — I only speak when I have something to say. What is becoming more challenging of late is dealing with so many fully formed melodies that are unwilling to change their shape for any word. So writing lyrics becomes like running multiple code-breaking programs in your head until just the right word with just the right number of syllables, tone of vowel and finally some semblance of meaning all snap into place.

I’m kind of the opposite of the confessional singer-songwriter who fills notebooks full of poetry and intones them over a bed of chords. Meaning or “the truth what’s in my heart” usually reveals itself well after the record is released. I’m often surprised that the things I care about actually end up in my songs. Until then I’m mostly concerned with shape, tone and texture. I’m really an instrumentalist who sings words and if you care to pay attention you might enjoy them. So in this post, I will begin reporting on the progress of an as of yet unfinished song, with all my doubts and insecurities laid bare.

The song in question is called (for now) “Oh No.” It began, as do most of my songs, with a sound. It could be a creaking door or a delivery truck or the sound of multiple stereos wafting out of bedroom windows. For the last four years the same dancehall beat has been has been rattling the foundation of my Chicago apartment. When I stay at my farm, sparrows, coyotes, chickens and frogs find their way into my songs as well.

In the instance of this song I was on a flight from New York back to Chicago and a young mother and her 3-year-old son sat in front of me and it was looking to be the classic scenario of the child screaming bloody murder. However, I was struck by the mournfulness of this kid’s wail. He just kept crying “oh no” in a way that only someone who is certain of their demise could. Pure terror. Completely inconsolable. It was more moving than annoying.

So when I got home I picked up my guitar and tried to capture the slowly descending arc of that kid’s cry. It fit nicely over a violin loop that I had been toying with which moves from C-major to A-major.

I’ll spend days at my farm creating loops with my violin where I record a phrase and layer on top of it, often starting with pizzicato followed by multiple string lines. This is a handy compositional tool I also use in performance. I can follow any whim and instantly hear how it works in counterpoint with other ideas. It’s perfect for someone who plays by ear and improvises as I do and who is too impatient for notation. This helps keep ideas fluid and ephemeral but with an instant gratification playback option. I’ve found that I can be completely satisfied for weeks by the simplest four-bar phrase repeating over and over again. It’s a fragile thing where your perception of it can change it completely. You can reconstruct all the elements the following day, note for note and go by physical memory but the feel can be elusive.

Back to “Oh No.” All this child knows is that he needs to get off this plane and I can empathize. I often find myself in a crowded room and all I know is “I need to get out of here.” So begins the song with a child’s half-dream of climbing out a window and venturing into the ravines around Lake Bluff, where I grew up.

let’s get out of here
past the atmosphere
squint your eyes and no one dies or goes to jail
past the silver bridge
oh the silver bridge wearing nothing but a one-sie and a veil.

When I was little the “silver bridge” spanned the ravine and marked the boundary of my known world.

Words get under my skin the same way melodies do. Something catches my attention and I file it subconsciously. It often begins with an archaic or obscure word I have not defined. I just like the sound of it and its elusive meaning gives it a mysterious shine. On the menu of a local cafe is an item called “salsify.” Before I reach for the dictionary I let my imagination run wild and decide that salsify is a burrowing bronchial root like a rickety old mine that burrows deep into something. It turns out that’s mostly correct which encourages me further. All I know is “salsify mains” sounds good to me.

Then I might think of what I want to say, what have I been fixated on of late? I have been thinking about how as adults we bury our emotions and I almost envied that kid on the plane who had license to express what we all were probably feeling. And how I have felt frozen and numb of late. (The process may seem more deliberate than it actually is — it’s only because I’m breaking it down for this article and have hindsight that it appears that I know what I’m doing).

In the salsify mains of what was thought but unsaid
the calcified charismatists were doing the math
It would take a calculated blow to the head
to light the eyes of all the harmless sociopaths

What does it take to wake us up, we who feel so little? Aren’t we almost like sociopaths, only the kind that don’t kill people?

The only thing I don’t care for in this lyric is the “calcified charismatist” — it just feels too clever. I’m known to make up words but this is too heavy-handed. So I’m still searching for the right words. For a while it was “unemployed ex-physicists,” but that’s too typical of something I would write. Lately I’m considering “calcified arhythmitist” or just “arithmatist” — something that conveys a physicist’s sketch or formula for what will revive our harmless sociopath. Then the cheerful refrain of “arm in arm we are the harmless sociopaths/in the calcium mines buried deep in our chests.” Followed by the chorus which has only taken shape in the last day, which is “Oh no, we’re deep in a mine/Oh no, a calcium mine.” Sounds a bit bleak as I break it down, but it should be a rousing little number.

Recordings of Andrew Bird’s music can be heard online at his Web site’s A/V page and his MySpace page.

May the road rise to meet you

2008-03-17T16:51:00.000-04:00

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Have a Cow

2008-03-14T16:42:00.001-04:00

I walked over to Karen's office as I was posting next week's schedule, and one of the regular stops on that trek is through her office. I took my animal crackers with me, for I was hungry and needed that last minute sugar rush to get me through the last hour of the day.

I knew immediately upon entrance to her office that she was frustrated about something. Offered to help if she needed it, though there really wasn't much she said I could do. She did start to vent because of her frustrations and in an effort to cheer her up, I set my crackers down, pulled the first one out to hand to her, and immediately put it right back because I'd noticed it's head had been broken off. So I grabbed the next one, which I only recognized because of the udders.

"Here, have a cow."

It was only then did I realize what I had said.

We then spent about 5 minutes going back and forth, amidst bouts of hysterical laughter --

"You planned that, didn't you? You really do want me to have a cow over this!"

"No, honestly, I swear, that didn't even cross my mind."

Maybe you had to be there. It was really funny none-the-less.

New Soul

2008-03-05T11:21:00.002-05:00

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world hoping
I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul
In this very strange world hoping
I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end
'Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you fare away

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world hoping
I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

-By Yael Naim

Take Your Squirrel Into Work Day

2008-02-26T10:06:00.003-05:00

I arrived home late last night to see that my father'd left his truck at work. Which automatically clued me in to the fact that he'd need a ride into work the next day. No problem.

I walked in to the house, after scaring away (not intentionally) the two cats that were outside our front door howling like the world was about to end. Commence general discussion of the day, which included guesses as to what in the world could the cats be doing.

My mom casually adds, "Oh, by the way, you're going to have two passengers to work tomorrow."

I raise my eyebrow, or at least attempt to, since I can't do that very well, and manage to look sufficiently confused. I ask, "Well, Daddy, I figured, but...?"

She smiled as she said, "And the Eastern Grey Squirrel we trapped that's outside on the back porch. Didn't you know tomorrow is Annual Take Your Squirrel to Work Day?"

Um, no, I failed to get that memo.

Apparently we've had a squirrel in our attic who has been trying to make his home up there amongst all our boxes and possessions, and my father would have none of it.

At this point, many thoughts of the network of Newark squirrels attempting to take over the world one house at a time came rushing through my head, but to try and explain NUSA would just take too long, and you'd probably all look at me like I was weird or something anyway if I told you, so I'm not even going to try. Or at least, not at this point. That might be some other day's post.

So instead, I laughed hysterically at the prospect of celebrating such a day, then proceeded to visit the back porch in an attempt to try and see him (which proved unsuccessful as he was being quite uncooperative), and then took him for a ride this morning in the trunk of my car.

After we got to work, I tried again to look at him, and was rewarded with a great hiss of fury from the little furball who was running about like mad underneath the sheet that was covering the trap.

So get on out there, find a squirrel and take it with you to work today!

(As an aside, he was captured humanely and as this is typed up is being let go in the wilds that is Brandywine Creek State Park. Meaning, we're trying to make sure he stays as far away as possible from our house.)

The Dark Tower Dream

2008-02-21T22:19:00.004-05:00

It was cold. Bone-chillingly cold. Absolutely freezing cold. It was night. We had to survive the night.

I was in some sort of circular room. There was no way out of this room that I could see. From what I could tell, there were tapestries on the walls, and a dais at the front end of the room.

There was another man there with me who was alive. I don't remember his face. There were also other people in the room with us. They looked like they could have been automated, if they weren't practically frozen already because of how very cold it was in that room. Their faces had a bloated sort of look, and they were turning slightly blue. All of these other bodies were strewn all around the room on the floor, some of the bodies on top of one another.

The man I was with I understood to be someone I cared for. I believe he was a 'significant other', though if it was a fiancé, or a husband, or just someone I had strong feelings for and who in turn had strong feelings for me, I do not know.

The only way we knew how to survive was to huddle close together under the thinnest of thin blankets. Somehow, our body heat would be enough to sustain us, despite the shabby blanket.

****

I woke up at approximately 1 a.m after having dreamt that, frozen solid, despite sleeping under 9 blankets on my bed. After I went back to sleep, I dreamed the same thing again. I woke up one other time during the night, and when I finally fell back asleep after that, I dreamt it a third time. I was still in the process of dreaming it when my alarm went off this morning.

When I woke up this morning, I was frozen solid. It's now bed time, and I'm still chilled to the bone.

Now, if I buy into the theory of The Dark Tower, then what I dreamt was either a past event or a future event, or else something that belongs to a parallel universe of sorts, a universe in which I have a double, since dreams allow us to look into parallel universes (or at least, this is my understanding of what I read).

I've also had the theory as I contemplated over this dream that it could possibly be another 'unknown' scene from the book, a scene in which a horn-less Scudamour (he having somehow managed to get of the filthy thing) and I (as Camilla) had been found out as we were trying to escape back to Normal Time and were thrown into a room in the Dark Tower to await a fate worse than death, if we could survive.

Obviously, I much prefer this second idea to my dream, instead of one in which I'm forced to sleep in and around frozen dead bodies and freeze to death myself. That, and not to have nightmares over any more C. S. Lewis fiction.

And to somehow manage to warm up.

Extreme Makeover Home Edition

2008-02-15T16:59:00.002-05:00

Extreme Makeover Home Edition came to Wilmington, Delaware this past week! This show is definitely one of my all-time favorites! My brother's place of business helped sponsor the project! For information on the family they helped, check out Anderson Extreme.

Highlights from Florida

2008-02-14T16:47:00.005-05:00

Highlights from my trip to Florida:

- Spending a majority of my time with all those people in that picture. I love them all very much. - Dinner at Stacey's Buffet with 70+ people (all of the above and then some)
- Meeting and getting to know Janet (who is now like another Aunt)
- Spending time with my grandmother
- Meeting my great-great-great grandparents for the first time via pictures
- Beach volleyball with almost all of those people in that picture
- Teasing Rochelle
- Reading
- Relaxing
- 80 degree weather with little humidity
- Remembering my great-grandfather
- Picnic at Uncle Bill's, with all 50+ of us crowded in there
- Playing several rousing rounds of Catch Phrase with 30 people
- Sunday dinner at Uncle Bill's
- A possessed toilet
- Walks with Abigail (my absolutely adorable second cousin, who is sitting on the lap of my Uncle Bill, who is the second from the right in the row of people sitting in the picture)
- No problems with any flights both ways, with either the flights or acquiring luggage
- Finding a good bunch of them on Facebook in the last week so I can continue to stay in touch with them
- Stephen's crazy dancing on the beach

Walks with Abigail were definitely a highlight. She's 2, and latched on to me almost immediately. She would pull me outside and wanted to walk with me up and down the street where we would sit and watch the cars and count them as they drove by.

I had so much fun with all of those beautiful people, most of whom are either, aunts, uncles, first-cousins-once-removed or second cousins. It was so cool to be a part of something that felt so much larger than myself, and it's all thanks to my great-grandmother and great-grandfather. I love you both and will miss you here on earth, but I know I'll see you later!

A Valentine's Day Syllogism

2008-02-14T16:44:00.001-05:00

Major Premise:
Chocolate is made of cocoa beans.

Minor Premise:
Beans are legumes, and are therefore very good for you.

Conclusion:
Therefore, chocolate is very good for you.

The end.

If I ever take another day for granted, someone please slap me.

2008-02-12T18:39:00.000-05:00

There was quite the ice storm around here late this afternoon, of course in time for the 5 o'clock rush hour traffic (why does it always happen at that exact moment?) that reminded me of last year's storm at about this time.

I told my dad that I didn't need to ride home from work with him, that I would be fine and would take it slow and be safe and careful driving.

I didn't know that even that doesn't stop potential accidents from happening.

It happened when I was at the corner of 4 and Gender Road, which just happens to be the last turn before I get to my development. Up ahead of me, I noticed that the light was turning red and I needed to slow down because of it; the cars at the intersection were getting a little too near, and I was going a little faster than I probably should have been, considering the conditions.

I put my brakes on, and on any given day, things would have been fine. With a coating of ice on the road, however, that all changed.

As soon as I put the brakes on, my wheels started to spin out and I was starting to slide out to the right.

My gut reaction was to compensate by turning my wheel to the left, but then years of drivers ed./defensive driving/common sense kicked in, and I realized I needed to do exactly the opposite of what my gut told me to do, which was to let go, and let my car turn to the right while slowly applying my brake. It was also in that second when I realized that this could be the end to a lot of things, for my car was spinning out on Route 4 and could have ended up like one of any number of the cars I passed on my way home, which had either their front end smashed into the midian, or their back end smashed into the curb facing the opposite way in traffic. I had never experienced that sort of thing before, and while I won't say my life flashed before my eyes, I will say that I was very scared, both for myself and for anyone else who might have been in the way.

Thankfully, there was no one in the right hand land.
Thankfully, I was far enough behind the cars at the light that I hit no one in front of me.
Thankfully, the cars behind me were far enough behind that no one hit me.

Thankfully, my car stopped with my front end in basically the direction I needed to go. The cars that were stopped let me go in front of them and make my way slowly into my turn lane.

I was home within five minutes (having gone even slower than previously, for by that time, the built-up tension was at the point of releasing itself, and I wanted to make sure it didn't get in the way of my driving abilities).

I can't tell you how thankful I am that there is nothing worse than some high-strung nerves to deal with at the moment. I learned the value of leaving an inordinate amount of space between vehicles the last time I was in an accident, and I am so very thankful for that now. I am also thankful that my life and the lives of those driving around me were spared from something awful.

We all must have something bigger planned for us that we still need to do in this world, and I for one am grateful.

And so, if any of you should ever catch me whining or complaining about how supposedly unfair life ever is, or if you catch me taking life and/or other people for granted, you have my permission to slap me. Or at least, remind me very strongly in the way of your own choosing that there are just some things shouldn't ever be taken for granted. M'kay?

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2008-02-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

My great-grandfather passed away last weekend. I am just about ready to leave here to fly down to Florida with my family to attend his funeral services.

He will be missed.

Any prayers would be appreciated.

Do you feel...

2008-02-01T17:11:00.000-05:00

...as if you are aboard a rickety trolley, racing furiously in the wrong direction?

February is often like that.

The Letter That Never Came

2008-01-17T12:06:00.000-05:00

Dearest Children,

Since we have been abroad, we have missed you all so very much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, when you are older, you will learn about the people we've befriended, and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in-fact be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you will take care of each other with kindness, and bravery, and selflessness as you always have. And remember one thing and never forget it - that no matter where you are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family, and you are home.

Your loving parents

Quiet

2008-01-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

I've been rather quiet lately. I think I have good reason to.

Within the last three weeks, the following has happened here at the church:

-- Jollie announced her retirement.
-- Bill and Alene announced that they were leaving to start another church.
-- Jean passed away.
-- Karen had an MRI done that revealed a herniated disc she'd had for the past two+ months.
-- Michelle's dad passed away.
-- Bill P. fell and broke his nose, hand and busted up several fingers.
-- Brenda's brother-in-law, who has been ill for quite some time, took a turn for the worse and is on the verge of passing away.

Death, loss and pain sometimes seem to swallow up everything around them. And I remain quiet.

It's at times like these when I really don't feel like talking about what's going on because there really is nothing to be said.

So, I'll just continue to be quiet.

Hopefully, I will feel like talking more soon.

Give Me Jesus

2008-01-02T14:01:00.000-05:00

In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

And when I am alone
Oh, when I am alone
And when I am alone
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

And when I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
And when I come to die
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
You can have all this world
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

Death Can Be So Inconvenient.

2007-12-29T23:24:00.000-05:00

You try to live and love - it comes and interrupts.

This has been a week of sorrow and hardship in my life. My dear friend, coworker and 'grandmother' passed away suddenly on Christmas Eve. She lived a full life, and was a blessing to so many, more than she probably knew. We celebrated her life Friday evening in a memorial service, and it was a comfort to have so many people together sharing their memories of such a wonderful woman of God.

The return to work on Wednesday to find Michelle at her desk was hard. Answering all of the phone calls and having to be the one to break the news to so many people over and over again was hard. Planning for an entirely different funeral that took place on Thursday and then for her service on Friday was hard.

My prayers right now lie with Michelle - she has taken on so much responsibility at such short notice. And the week has not been easy for her, and so consequently for us as well - her father fell and hit his head on Wednesday, and after a lot of hardship and pain, passed away Friday evening as well due to complications from a brain hemmorage.

There is so much pain and sadness and shock running through so many of the people I know and love very dearly, and at this point, all I am coming back to is - why? Why Jean? Why Michelle? Why us? Why now?

I know that there is a much bigger picture that I can't see, and I know that it will be so beautiful when I finally do see it. And I know that to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord, and that from what I know of Him, that must be very good. But that doesn't lessen the pain or the confusion or the sadness I'm feeling right now.

It does, however, give me reason to hope, and reason to go on.

Labour and Watch

2007-12-25T01:52:00.000-05:00

Morning and Evening Daily Readings

By C. H. Spurgeon

'The evening and the morning were the first day.' Genesis 1:5

Was it so even in the beginning? Did light and darkness divide the realm of time in the first day? Then little wonder is it if I have also changes in my circumstances from the sunshine of prosperity to the midnight of adversity. It will not always be the blaze of noon even in my soul concerns, I must expect at seasons to mourn the absence of my former joys, and seek my Beloved in the night. Nor am I alone in this, for all the Lord's beloved ones have had to sing the mingled song of judgment and of mercy, of trial and deliverance, of mourning and of delight. It is one of the arrangements of Divine providence that day and night shall not cease either in the spiritual or natural creation till we reach the land of which it is written, 'there is no night there.' What our heavenly Father ordains is wise and good. What, then, my soul, is the best for thee to do? Learn first to be content with this divine order, and be willing, with Job, to receive evil from the hand of the Lord as well as good. Study next, to make the outgoings of the morning and the evening to rejoice. Praise the Lord for the sun of joy when it rises, and for the gloom of evening as it falls. There is beauty both in sunrise and sunset, sing of it, and glorify the Lord. Like the nightingale, pour forth thy notes at all hours. Believe that the night is as useful as the day. The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow. The stars of promise shine forth gloriously amid the darkness of grief. Continue thy service under all changes. If in the day thy watchword be labour, at night exchange it for watch. Every hour has its duty, do thou continue in thy calling as the Lord's servant until He shall suddenly appear in His glory. My soul, thine evening of old age and death is drawing near, dread it not, for it is part of the day, and the Lord has said, 'I will cover him all day long.'

Only the Beginning of the Real Story

2007-12-24T23:43:00.000-05:00

To my dearest Jean, or 'Grandma' as I liked to call you --

I can just picture you now, dancing and rejoicing at our Savior's feet. And I have to admit, I'm slightly jealous! What an unspeakably wonderful and amazing Christmas gift you have been given! If only we all could be so blessed one day.

Four years and three months was too short a time to only have had with you here on this earth, but it is time I will treasure always. I can't recall how many times you lifted my spirits at work with a smile, a hug, and a prayer for your 'grand-daughter'. There was the bug man, the klutz club and comparing bruises, dancing the Grecian-urn dance with Jan for you, your sneezes, flipping the light switch off on you, embarrassing emails, phone calls from cute-sounding guys, chocolate pie recipes, swing dancing at Jenna's wedding, the hot chocolate that I always 'borrowed' from your office, and sound effects galore.

You loved people, and you loved on me. You cared for everyone who came across your path. There was no question about it - if they needed help, you were more than willing to jump in and help to the fullest that you could. You loved meeting new people and experiencing new things and you loved to talk about the Lord and how much you loved Him and how He was 'all the world to me.' You encouraged me in my walk with God, to love Him with all that I am, to always remember that God is my portion and that to rest in the Lord is the safest place to be, and to wait patiently for His answers. For these, and for many other things, thank you. Thank you, too, for the timely reminder to never take a person for granted, but to always tell them that you love and appreciate them when you have the opportunity, for it might not be granted to you a second time.

You had the voice of an angel (especially when helping lead us on Tuesday mornings in our times of singing!) and loved to sing and share that gift of music with so many others. Your performance last week in the Christmas cantata was beyond breath-taking. You also loved your family, and I would just love hearing you brag on all that Tori, Matt and Kristi were doing; you would be giddy at the thought that Herb was on the other phone line, just wanting to talk to you! I think of all these memories and so many others and laugh and smile because they were all so very wonderful times. I am glad my last memories of your are good ones - seeing you smile over a silly candle and chocolate, and wishing you a 'Merry Christmas' and giving you random hugs and love.

And while I am happy for you, please understand that I have been left sadden, as have many others. It will be hard. Walking by your office on Wednesday to not see you there, but instead to help set up your home-going party, will probably be one of the very hardest things I will have to do in my time working at the church thus far. But regardless, it is good to know where you are and that I will see you again, one day.

God gave me a verse yesterday, shortly before I heard about what happened, and God saw fit to bring it back to mind yet again today. "He is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:25-28)." When I heard it yesterday, it seemed like a perfect verse for this time of year. Christ Himself, one Man, coming to give all men life, making us all one, and doing this so that men would reach out to Him. Today, it has a new meaning now in addition to the one I took it for yesterday - your place was determined and your time was set. You fought your fight, ran your race, and kept your faith well.

Got also gave me Job. Yes, I know a not-so-very nice book to be reading when already sad, but Job's attitude towards what happened to him is what has been giving me peace these last two days, and the promise that I will be what I cling to these next few weeks. "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD (Job 1:21)." The more I thought of it, the more I wondered if the sadness I feel at your leaving might not have been felt by God Himself when He sent His Son to the earth, knowing full well the pain that would have to be inflicted on Him, and knowing that He would one day have to turn His ear to Jesus' cry when He was dying on the cross. It is a comfort to think that even our Lord was sad, and cried over the loss of loved ones.

At this time of year, a lot of the focus turns to giving to others, and more importantly, of giving back to God. I think your grand-daughter said it best when, of all the gifts to give back to God, you are one of the best we could give. I know I can go and celebrate the birth of our Lord with joy tomorrow because you wouldn't want me to be sad at the gift that has been given through you and your life.

I fully expect to see you when I get there, just waiting for me there with those of my loved ones who have gone before as well as many others, and I'll be wanting the grand tour of Heaven. And then maybe a good cup of tea together so we can catch up.

I love you so very much, and I will see you later (I refuse to say 'good-bye,' even now, for with followers of Christ, there are no good-byes).

Love,
Your adopted grand-daughter

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm just about ready to head out of here. That means that it's almost time for me to start my Christmas celebrations! I can't promise I'll be on here much during the Christmas week, but if I can, I'll slip on to give a real update...I've been lackadaisical in my entries of late, and for that, I apologize.

In the meantime, may the Joy of the Season fill you this season as you celebrate the birth of Christ! Merry Christmas!

Right or Wrong, I Sing Either Way

2007-12-19T17:16:00.000-05:00

Come they told me, ba-rump-bum-bum-bum
A newborn king to see, ba-rump-bum-bum-bum
Our finest gifts we bring, ba-rump-bum-bum-bum
To lay before the king, ba-rump-bum-bum-bum
Rump-bum-bum-bum
Rump-bum-bum-bum

Peace on Earth, can it be
Years from now, perhaps we’ll see
We’ll see the day of glory
We’ll see the day when men of good will live in peace
Live in peace
Live in peace again
Peace on earth
Can it be

Every child must be made aware
Every child must be made to care
Care enough for his fellow man
To give all the love that he can

I pray my wish will come true
For my child and your child too
He’ll see the day of glory
He’ll see the day when men of good will
Live in peace
Live in peace again
Peace on earth
Can it be?
Can it be?

Pretty thing, isn't it?

Christmas Dream: 12/16

2007-12-18T15:50:00.000-05:00

I had received an email stating that Parson Brown was sick and had just had surgery and was therefore unable to perform any marriages this holiday season due to being under the weather.

Snow Angels!

2007-12-07T17:54:00.000-05:00

Making snow angels is so much fun!

Always Winter, Never Christmas

2007-12-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

First snowfall:
Wednesday, December 5th

Yay!

It has been too long since I made snow angels!

STOMP

2007-11-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

I'm going to see STOMP tonight with my family. They're in Wilmington this weekend, playing at the Dupont Theater, and I'm so excited to be going!

The other major highlight of my up-and-coming weekend is that I get to look forward to the first of five consecutive Mondays off from work. Yay for unused vacation days! (That, however, is no guarantee that I'll actually get to rest on said day-off. I already have a list a mile long of things that need to get accomplished because it's officially Christmas time. Wish me luck in getting things done!)

A Day in the Life

2007-11-29T08:14:00.000-05:00

Today's list:

- Send out SG emails 3:09 p.m.
- Advent Wreath details 11:21 a.m.
- YML article edit 11:59 a.m.
- Baby dedication roses 9:24 a.m.
- Newcomer dinner booklet 10:18 a.m.
- Staples errand 11:43 a.m.
- Labels for phone directories 2:23 p.m.
- Phone directories for NCD 2:42 p.m.
- Redo Women's Tea Article 1:08 p.m.
- Student Section 12:45 p.m.
- Journey article redo 12:20 p.m.
- Proof MN 1:35 p.m.
- Proof PP 1:28 p.m.
- Proof WG 3:43 p.m.
- Run MN 750 2:08 p.m.
- Run PP 750 3:13 p.m.
- Run WG 750
- Fold MN 3:24 p.m.
- Fold PP 3:52 p.m.
- Fold WG
- Check Web email 4:15 p.m.
- Server Check 4:21 p.m.
- Backups
- CE Posters
- Tea Posters Redo
- Meet w/ Sam 2:52 p.m.
- Remove Prayer Guides from Web 1:43 p.m.
- Redo Article on web for cantata
- Copy & post next week's schedule 4:42 p.m.
- Conference Room schedule 4:44 p.m.
- Email JF & JD re: worship 5:01 p.m.

At 5:05 p.m.
Note 1 - 500 WG's printed, 300 WG's folded. Will finish tomorrow morning
Note 2 - Carry over the following into tomorrow's list:
- Backups
- CE Posters
- Tea Posters Redo
- Redo Article on web for cantata
Note 3 - Food consumption for the day equaled 4 clementines, a blueberry muffin and some cookies. Need to work on better eating habits.
Note 4 - This evening's agenda:
- Drive home in traffic
- Make supper for family
- Crochet blanket for Baby E.
- Play with my nephews
- Help Rae w/ MK
- Sleep

Stories

2007-11-28T17:15:00.000-05:00

"So many of us have been conditioned to think our faith as solely an issue of us and God. But faith is a communal experience. A shared journey. I have often heard people say that their stories are not exciting. I can only imagine how deeply offended God is with comments like this. Not exciting? If the story is about me, then, yes, it is only exciting to a certain degree. But the point of our stories and our faith journeys is that they are about something much bigger."

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-20T17:11:00.001-05:00

I'm off for my mother's over in NJ. Thursday afternoon, I'll be flying up to Maine to visit family, and will be driving back on Saturday. Sunday, I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving with family in Delaware. It will be busy, but it will be very good.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Things for which you are grateful:

2007-11-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving will arrive soon, and if you celebrate such holidays, you might begin thinking of things for which you are grateful. Some suggestions follow.

1. Pocket-sized notebooks in which to take notes.
2. Bittersweet chocolate
3. William Maxwell's bittersweet novel, So Long, See You Tomorrow
4. All things bittersweet
5. Good, strong coffee
6. Good, strong bodyguards
7. Not being kidnapped

Happy Thanksgiving!

Silver Linings

2007-11-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

To combat the greyness that's taken over again:

Weekend Highlights!
- Going to a DE beach I'd never been to before!
- Breakfast and second breakfast on Saturday.
- A good retreat with Jan, Beth and company. Being able to share what's on my heart. Getting to know, spend time with and invest in the lives of other people.
- Taking care of a necessary evil and in the company of a good friend. It's always much better to have to do the annoying things in life with a good friend by your side who understands the annoyance.
- Hanging out with Bethany and spending the night at her house Saturday night!
- Not getting lost in the city of Wilmington.
- Being the one to help Jill with her baptism on Sunday. Getting to listen to her testimony and hear how absolutely amazing God is. Realizing that there is a much bigger story out there that I rarely focus on because I'm too self-centered.
- Having lunch with the wonderful Emily, who is home from college on Thanksgiving break.
- Seeing Bethany randomly run up to me in the middle of the parking lot at Panera Bread, with her waving my cell phone (which I'd left at her house), saying that here was my phone. No charger, but at least I have my cell phone.
- Praying in a parking lot.
- Thanksgiving Dinner at Karl's house.
- Realizing that, since I had to go to the 6 o'clock service to pick up the glasses I'd left at Lois' house anyway, there must have been a reason for going, and then sure enough, finding out that there was.

Life in Grey

2007-11-15T17:12:00.000-05:00

I just saw some of the first colors in the sky this week.

We've had nothing but grey and rainy and cold weather all week. Wednesday was nothing but a blanket of grey and white.

And then I was in the workroom and glanced out the window and saw a stretch of orange and pink clouds out in the west and it was absolutely breathtaking.

At this point, any color is heavensent. It was gone within a matter of moments, but it was one of those precious gifts from God that you enjoy to its fullest while you have it.

And so I now look for that next gift from God, for I know they can be found in abundance.

Easy Rider

2007-11-14T08:02:00.000-05:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Knack of Flying

2007-11-13T07:32:00.001-05:00

"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." -Douglas Adams

I seem to have trouble remembering how to miss the ground every time I go flying.

Translation: I took a bit of a spill over the weekend. What tripped me up? My bed. I kid you not. The sheets on my bed decided to stick their feet out and knock me over. And into my chest of drawers, bed and subsequently, onto the floor, thereby causing me to almost knock over my brother's guitar.

I now have a nice rug burn up my left arm, on my left knee and a sore lower back.

Truthfully, though, it had me heartily amused.

Quiet

2007-11-09T16:58:00.000-05:00

There hasn't been much going on lately.

I have been house/cat sitting for a friend/co-worker of mine this week, and have been enjoying a time of quietness and solitude.

That is all.

When It Was Over

2007-11-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

When it was over and they could talk about it
She said there's just one thing I have got to know
What in that moment when you were running so hard and fast
Made you stop and turn for home
He said I always knew you loved me even though I'd broken your heart
I always knew there'd be a place for me to make a brand new start

Oh love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Make us whole

When it was over and they could talk about it
They were sitting on a the couch
She said what on earth made you stay here
When you finally figured out what I was all about
He said I always knew you'd do the right thing
Even though it make take some time
She said, Yeah I felt that and that's probably what saved my life

Oh love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things
Make us whole

There is a love that never fails
There is a healing that always prevails
There is a hope that whispers a vow
A promise to wait while we're working it out
So come with Your love and wash over us

Oh love wash over a multitude of things
Love wash over a multitude of things

Jesus, save us from a multitude of things
Make us whole

-Sara Groves

No...

2007-11-01T19:42:00.000-04:00

No shade
No shine
No butterflies
No bees

No fruits
No flowers
No leaves
No birds -
November!

-Thomas Hood

Happy November!

God Moves In A Mysterious Way

2007-10-31T16:12:00.000-04:00

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm

Deep in unsearchable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings
In blessings
In blessings on your head

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face

His purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings
In blessings
In blessings on your head

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
For God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain

In His own time
In His own way

-Song by Jeremy Riddle
Text taken from William Cowper's "Light Shining Out of Darkness"

Red-Letter Day

2007-10-31T10:50:00.000-04:00

Today, for the first time in I can't even begin to remember how long, there was no traffic at the Concord Pike exit off of I-95 on the way to work this morning during rush hour traffic. Usually, there's a line almost a mile long - a line I usually end up sitting in because 1) everyone else would rush up to the front of the line and then cut people off, and because 2) people coming onto Concord Pike northbound coming from southbound 95 wouldn't follow the yield sign they had but instead try to merge, thus cutting off everyone else who had the right-of-way. To make matters worse, they've been working on construction on that exit for goodness knows how long, trying to widen it up so there's not such a heavy back up on 95 in the mornings.

And the reason for no traffic today? They finally opened up all that construction! Instead of just having one lane now to get off onto Concord Pike, it's been opened up into 3 lanes, with that nasty yield/merge gone! Yay! I'm sure there will still be some sort of traffic though, with people changing lanes to get to their appropriate exits, but I can't tell you how excited it made me this morning. I mean, I was driving past the Del. Ave. exit thinking that I had ten minutes before I was supposed to be at work, and seeing as it would take me at least that amount of time (if not more) to just get off of 95, I should call in and let them know that I'd be a few minutes late. But then I got into the exit lane, and there was absolutely zero traffic, and before I knew it, I was driving through the brand new exit and there was absolutely no hold up.

And the best part? I made it in to work on time. Yay!

Happy Autumn!

2007-10-30T14:19:00.000-04:00

Comforting Sounds

2007-10-29T17:29:00.000-04:00

One of the sounds that I find to be most comforting to me is the sound my brother's car makes when he's driving it. Odd, yes, I know, but it is to me one of the most encouraging sounds by far. He's got some sort of turbo on his car, and all I really know about it (for I am rather lacking in the car-savvy terminology) is that it makes a lot of noise, rumbles a lot, makes this wooshing sound when he changes gear, and sometimes, he can even make flames come out of it. I can hear it coming from a mile away; no, seriously, our family can hear his car when he's coming down the street towards our development. Our cat Long John instinctively knows when he's coming, and as soon as the sound of his car is heard, can be found standing by the window next to the front door, waiting for his Jeremy to pull up.

I love this sound because it means that my brother is coming home to visit. It means that I will soon get to see and spend some time with my brother. Every time I hear it, I know that my brother is close by, and will be there to help me and my family. And when I hear it when he leaves, I know that it means that he'll be coming back. And that he'll be alright.

I heard his car as I was leaving the church's parking lot yesterday morning after church. Seeing as my brother and his wife do not come to my church, it was therefore a surprise to hear the familiar wooshing sound his car makes. I turned in time to see the back end of his car leaving the church parking lot. And I felt that familiar feeling that he was okay, and things were going to be alright, because my brother had been there.

So it was with great surprise that I learned a little later of the drama that he and his wife experienced over the weekend. They live in a row of townhouses up in Claymont, and were woken up around 3 in the morning early on Sunday to a smokey haze all through their house, banging on their front door and shouting from a police officer for them to evacuate as the house a couple of houses away from theirs had caught fire. They made it out, but were allowed back in briefly to look for their cats. They couldn't find the cats quickly enough and were forced to leave. They safely made it away to Cindy's sister's house for a few hours, and were eventually allowed back in around 7 o'clock in the morning. Thankfully, there was no damage to any of their things. But they do have to air out their house entirely after it filled with all the smoke from the fire. And after learning of this, I learned that this had been preceded by such things as my brother facing a lost bank card, and almost getting into a major accident. *Police write up about the fire can be found here.*

And so I find myself appreciating the sound that his car makes even more today than I did yesterday. Because today, hearing it means that he's alive and that he truly is alright.

I am so thankful that my family is safe.

Anywhere Is

2007-10-24T18:20:00.000-04:00

I walk the maze of moments
But everywhere I turn to
Begins a new beginning
But never finds a finish

I walk to the horizon
And there I find another
It all seems so surprising
And then I find that I know

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here, we're not together
Anywhere is

The moon upon the ocean
Is swept around in motion
But without ever knowing
The reason for its flowing

In motion on the ocean
The moon still keeps on moving
The waves still keep on waving
And I still keep on going

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here, we're not together
Anywhere is

I wonder if the stars sign
The life that is to be mine
And would they let their light shine
Enough for me to follow

I look up to the heavens
But night has clouded over
No spark of constellation
No Vela, no Orion

The shells upon the warm sands
Have taken from their own lands
The echo of their story
But all I hear are low sounds

As pillow words are weaving
And willow waves are leaving
But should I be believing
That I am only dreaming

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here, we're not together
Anywhere is

To leave the thread of all time
And let it make a dark line
In hopes that I can still find
The way back to the moment

I took the turn and turned to
Begin a new beginning
Still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish

It's either this or that way
It's one way or the other
It should be one direction
It could be on reflection

The turn I have just taken
The turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end

-Enya

Weekend Highlights

2007-10-23T16:19:00.000-04:00

-Driving across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge for the first time.
-My cousin's wedding! He was amazing! And Karissa was absolutely beautiful!
-Spending time with family I do not get to see and spend much time with.
-The gorgeous weather for the out-of-doors celebrations on both Saturday and Sunday!
-Taking the day off yesterday to recoup from driving into the wee hours of Monday morning.
-Spending the evening with my family last night to celebrate my birthday.

And now I'm off to finish up and head home to celebrate my father's birthday!

Virginia is for Weddings

2007-10-19T17:19:00.000-04:00

Well, here I go, off again to another wedding. :)

This time, it's down in Virginia Beach. And it's yet another cousin.

It should be fun.

And as an added bonus -
Highlights from this week:
-Celebrating my birthday
-Breakfast with Michelle
-Dunkin Donuts!
-Spending time with my mother and sisters
-Getting to be outside in the gorgeous fall weather

Have a good weekend, everyone!

The Magician's Nephew

2007-10-17T11:09:00.000-04:00

"Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices; more voices than you could possibly count. They were in harmony with it, but far higher up the scale: cold, tingling, silvery voices. The second wonder was that the blackness overhead, all at once, was blazing with stars. They didn't come out gently one by one, as they do on a summer evening. One moment there had been nothing but darkness; next moment a thousand, thousand points of light leaped out - single stars, constellations, and planets, brighter and bigger than any in our world. There were no clouds. The new stars and the new voices began at exactly the same time. If you had seen and heard it, as Digory did, you would have felt quite certain that it was the stars themselves who were singing, and that it was the First Voice, the deep one, which had made them appear and made them sing.

"'Glory be!' said the Cabby. 'I'd ha' been a better man all my life if I'd known there were things like this.'"

****

"'Child,' he replied, 'that is why all the rest are now a horror to her. That is what happens to those who pluck and eat fruits at the wrong time and in the wrong way. The fruit is good, but they loathe it ever after.'

"'Oh I see,' said Polly. 'And I suppose because she took it in the wrong way it won't work with her. I mean it won't make her always young and all that?'

"'Alas,' said Aslan, shaking his head. 'It will. Things always work according to their nature. She has won her heart's desire; she has unwearying strength and endless days like a goddess. But length of days with an evil heart is only length of misery and already she begins to know it. All get what they want: they do not always like it.'"

- The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis

To the Owner of the Large 18-Wheeler on 95 Last Night:

2007-10-16T08:24:00.000-04:00

Stop. Stop this very moment. I find it disgustingly appalling that you have the gall to think you own the road. You don't. Let me re-emphasize this concept: you do not, nor will you ever, own the road. Yes, I know it is obvious that you drive a very large vehicle. But this simple fact does not give you permission to just change lanes without noticing the other vehicles around you. I am forced, therefore, to come to several conclusions. Either you are abnormally and exceptionally stupid, not to mention rude, disrespectful, impolite, arrogant and a great many other adjectives I could pull from my mental thesaurus; that you are all together both blind and deaf not to have seen me or heard me; or that you failed your truck-driving test and are therefore incompetent in your driving skills and thus should not be on the road, period. I do have to add, though, that I was rather grateful for the turn signal - not many of your kind are adept at knowing how to use their turn signal, or even where the turn signal might be located, so the warning you gave was much appreciated. I do not appreciate it, however, when you attempt to take over the lane in which my small car is occupying. My disgust for you and your brethren is amplified ten-fold by the simple fact that there was another 18-wheeler on my right hand side, thus leaving with no where to turn and effectively sandwiching me in between two demons on wheels. This left me with no other options except to slam on my brakes, lay on my horn, and pray fervently that I managed to get out from in between you both before I became nothing more than something akin to peanut butter. This is not the first instance of your stupidity I have had the most serious misfortune of dealing with, either. Already, once, I have had to pay for your idiocy in previous years and being forced to pay for your mistakes (not to mention the simple fact that I could have died had I not done the exact same thing I was compelled to do last night the last time you did the same thing to me, the time previous actually going so far as to hit me) leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth. Might I strongly suggest that you go back to school to relearn how to drive? Or possibly visit an optometrist or maybe an otologist? They might be able to better your hearing and your vision so that in the future you might be able to see and hear the little people who are around you, cringing at the very sight of you. Or how about just not driving at all? I am sorry that it would mean giving up your livelihood, but it is costing human lives for you to be driving the way you do. I am afraid that asking you to change your arrogant attitude towards fellow drivers and human beings who share the road with you to one of care and concern, being my preferred course of action and one that would prevent the loss of life, loss of money, stress, worry and as well as the loss of your job, would be too much to even hope for or ask.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Driver on America's Roads

Homecoming

2007-10-15T16:28:00.001-04:00

This past Saturday was the University of Delaware's Homecoming. Highlights from this year include:

-playing my flute in Alumni Marching Band. Sure, that called for an 8 a.m. rehersal time, but getting up at the crack of dawn is so well worth it.
-catching up with old friends from my marching band days.
-watching the University of Delaware football team beat Northeastern, 30-20.
-playing "In My Life" with the 'baby band' down on the field after the game.

The added bonus was that things were wrapped up early enough so that I could have a decent amount of time to myself the rest of the day. For the first time in a rather long time, I didn't have anything planned (and I purposely kept my schedule open just for that reason - it's been too long).

It was also a reminder of God's faithfulness; I'd been praying and preparing for a potentially "interesting" (the only word I can think of to describe it, a word that can be defined in so many different ways) situation that I could find myself in, a situation that I didn't want to be in. Especially within the last week, I had been (besides getting nervous and worrying) praying for and asking God for the strength and courage to do and say the right things that I knew would need to be said when I found myself talking to a certain person I used to know in band, for I had assumed that they would be there as well. It hadn't even occurred to me to ask God for anything else. When I walked in to band practice on Saturday morning, the person wasn't there. It's amazing the answers to our prayers the Lord gives - totally unexpected, unlooked for, but so appreciated.

No. Nononono. NO.

2007-10-11T17:02:00.000-04:00

The last few days have been major lessons in learning to say no. It's really hard, especially when the opportunities that come up are all good things. There are so many things that I'd like to do or be involved with, and I can see myself getting involved with each of them, but it would be at the expense of my health and what little sanity I do have. And so instead, I have been learning that:

there are other people who can get things done just as capably as I could.
I just need to focus right now on the tasks I've been given.
everything will turn out alright.

Ezekiel 28:2-10

2007-10-09T16:55:00.000-04:00

" 'In the pride of your heart
you say, "I am a god;
I sit on the throne of a god
in the heart of the seas."
But you are a man and not a god,
though you think you are as wise as a god.
Are you wiser than Daniel?
Is no secret hidden from you?
By your wisdom and understanding
you have gained wealth for yourself
and amassed gold and silver
in your treasuries.
By your great skill in trading
you have increased your wealth,
and because of your wealth
your heart has grown proud.

" 'Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says:

" 'Because you think you are wise,
as wise as a god,
I am going to bring foreigners against you,
the most ruthless of nations;
they will draw their swords against your beauty and wisdom
and pierce your shining splendor.
They will bring you down to the pit,
and you will die a violent death
in the heart of the seas.
Will you then say, "I am a god,"
in the presence of those who kill you?
You will be but a man, not a god,
in the hands of those who slay you.
You will die the death of the uncircumcised
at the hands of foreigners.

I have spoken, declares the Sovereign LORD.' "

Baltimore!

2007-10-05T14:55:00.000-04:00

I am off to Baltimore for the weekend to see and spend time with my very dear friend, Tracey! Have a good weekend, everyone!

Renaissance Faire!

2007-10-03T17:06:00.000-04:00

Highlights include:

- A Midsummer Night's Dream

- Playing with swords

- Crossing the Kissing Bridge by order of the queen (no, seriously - she told us to cross it, and we couldn't disobey)

- Human Chess Match

-Archery demonstration

- Joust

- Watching Nicole enjoy herself, as she had never been before

Pictures come courtesy of Nicole and Becky!

Wake Me Up When September Ends

2007-10-01T17:01:00.000-04:00

Some people call this time of year 'autumn.'

Others call this time of year 'fall.'

Still others wish that people would stop arguing about it.

Happy October!

On Thumbs

2007-09-29T23:41:00.000-04:00

Other possible titles for this entry included:
-Ouch.
-Well, that hurt.
-Warning: This Entry Involves Blood.
-We'd never know what's wrong without the pain.
-You don't appreciate something until you find that you can't use it.
-I never really knew how much I used my thumb until my thumbnail decided to come off.

To tell the story -

Back in Morocco, one evening towards the end of the trip, I was getting ready for bed. Brushed my teeth, and then proceeded to grab the mouthwash bottle. Being that my hands were wet, my right hand slipped on the bottle cap and my thumb jammed into the lid. We then proceed to typical gasping of pain, some bleeding underneath the nail and soreness and bruising around the right side of the nail. Took some painkillers and didn't think much of it. Soreness continued during the remainder of the trip. Had to think of creative ways to trim my fingernails and play my guitar.

Back home, it didn't come to mind much; after all, I was in the midst of helping get all of my brother's wedding details worked out, and then I got my nails painted for the wedding. True, it still hurt, especially whenever I bumped it, but that was to be expected.

I finally noticed it after the nail polish had come off the week after the wedding. It was a yellowish bruise on the entire right side of my right thumb nail. And I had lots of fun commenting to whoever noticed that it was my Morocco bruise. I mean - it's not every day you get to go to Morocco and you get a really cool bruise that will most likely stay with you for a really long time (for, having acquired my fair share of bruises underneath nails, I can accurately testify to their persistence).

That was the middle of July. Fastfoward about a month, and I notice that it's starting to chip right in the middle of my nail. I start wearing a bandaid quite frequently in the hopes of avoiding any further chippage, but that is not to be. A month later (i.e., mid-September), it is now almost halfway ripped off, for despite my best intentions, it still gets caught and pulled on all sorts of things. And just darn hurts.

And then, last night. I was trying to pack some clothes for an overnight trip to my mother's. Sounds simple enough, right? Nope. I bent down to pick something up and my thumb accidentally hits the corner of a cardboard box. My thumb was covered at the time, but this did not prevent it from ripping off completely. Now, it's extremely sore.

But I don't mind. I really don't. I see it as a physical reminder of my time in Africa. There were lessons learned there that I do not want to forget. Ever. Lessons such as God's provision and His perfect timing. A deeper understanding of what an eternal perspective looks like, and being awed and humbled and overjoyed at being able to labor side by side with some of the best people I have had the privilege of knowing. Lessons such as trusting that God really does have me in the palm of His very capable and very large hands, and that He does have a plan for me, a much bigger plan that I ever dreamed possible. Lessons such as forgiveness and letting go and reconciliation. A reminder that I am not perfect yet, but one day I will be.

So I smile at the bandaid on my thumb, and laugh at myself as I clumsily attempt to take off my necklaces or type or write with a pen. And I thank God for the pain. What is a little pain in my thumb when I am reminded daily of how very big God is? And what is a little pain compared to the pain He went through for me and for the people I served over there and who need His love more than anything?

So What You're Saying Is...

2007-09-28T16:34:00.001-04:00

I have to thank Sara E., Jen V. and Joe F. for a most entertaining and enlightening conversation last night! I haven't been that random in a very long time.

"Save the whales! Ahhhh..."

White Out!

2007-09-28T16:24:00.000-04:00

This has been no end of help to me in my job today! I won't say what it was that I had to white out, but it was used for a rather large mistake on a rather prominent piece of literature that quite a few people will be seeing. It would be easier if I did engage brain once in a while. Thankfully, I get a very good laugh out of it now.

Welcome to the Monkey House!

2007-09-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

Back in May, I got to visit the Baltimore Zoo with my dear friend Tracey. My good college friend Megan works there, and being on the inside, got us in to visit the monkeys! My favorite part of the tour was getting to feed the lemurs mulberry branches!

This is Brutus with his branch. If I'm not mistaken, he is the one that has the lazy eye (though you can't tell it from these pictures).

Meet Crispus and Leo! These two definitely loved to jump all over the place! It was fun to watch them jump over our heads and grab the branches.

We had to wear those surgical masks over our faces, so as to avoid the spreading of any nasty germs between both parties.

And I had to post another picture of some of my favorite lemurs. "I like to move it, move it!"

Retreated!

2007-09-25T12:31:00.000-04:00

It was an awesome weekend at North Bay Adventure Camp with the 6th-12th graders on their retreat! I hadn't been on one of those things since my senior year in the youth group (which was actually 10 years ago at approximately the same time of the year, now that I think about it). I spent my Saturday on my feet, setting endless tables, dropping countless pieces of silverware, lugging around exorbitant amounts of food, and saying "Tiramisu?" eight billion times. But it was well worth it - God uses those small, seemingly unimportant moments to prompt bigger moments, and I can't wait to see what happened because I went. I know one day I'll find out, and that is enough for me.

And in the meantime, something else has retreated - my health. I never completely found my voice last week (I'm sure it's in the stadium where I left it), and over the weekend, came down with a cold (as opposed to a 'hot'). I am still feeling a little under the weather, but thankfully much better than yesterday, which was a day that included drug-induced sleep, a very sore throat, medication, a nose that ran away with itself, and a general achiness all over. I have to say, though, if I was going to take a sick day, Monday was thankfully the day to take it.

Retreating!

2007-09-21T16:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm off to the Youth Retreat for the weekend! Happy weekend, everyone!

Caspian is Coming

2007-09-20T10:07:00.000-04:00

"To know what would have happened, child? No. Nobody is ever told that. But anyone can find out what will happen. If you go back to the others now, and wake them up, and tell them that you have seen me again, and that you must all get up at once and follow me - what will happen? There is only one way of finding out." -Aslan, Prince Caspian

Happy Birthday!

2007-09-19T17:28:00.000-04:00

This is my beautiful sister-in-love, Cindy. Today is her birthday! We've had many fantastical adventures together, including a trip to Colorado, a memorable visit to the RCA Dome out in Indianapolis, loosing our voices at football games, playing guitar together, singing for long hours into the night, many long and weary days during numerous Marching Band seasons, the ups and downs of my brother and now being family! Cindy, I love you and am so blessed to have you in my life! I always knew you'd be my sister! Happiest of Birthdays!

Arrr, Mateys! Savvy?

2007-09-19T17:18:00.000-04:00

Since it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I be making this log entry a bit more piratey. Savvy?

'Twas a fine day o' plunderin'.(1) Me scurvy dogs in me crew walked the plank, and naught but a couple of 'em tried to take me with 'em. (2) 'Bout time to weigh anchor(3) and I be hopin' to meet up with me hearties for a night o' pillagin'.(4) And if any of ye landlubbers try and mutiny(5), it be the keelhaul for 'em.

*Translations:
1. work
2. My co-workers and I used our breaks today to take a walk, because it was absolutely gorgeous outside.
3. Leave
4. Meet up with GAP North for Bible study
5. slow rush hour drivers causing traffic

*~*

I like this day. Argh.

Ode to 42

2007-09-19T16:25:00.000-04:00

42 is my favorite number.

There are 42 cells in the game Connect Four.

42 is the Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

"P. Sherman. 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney"

42 was the title of a recent Doctor Who episode.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

There are 42 generations between Abraham and Jesus Christ in the book of Matthew in the Bible.

42 = Jersey number of Jackie Robinson

There are 42 illustrations in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland.

This is my 42nd post.

Itsy, Bitsy Spider?

2007-09-19T12:01:00.001-04:00

So have you ever been privy to an absolutely hysterical story that you thankfully had no part of? And then suddenly found yourself thrust into the middle of the drama?

My wonderful friend Rachael has been regaling me with stories of vicious spider episodes this entire week. To give a bit of background, her husband and family are away this week on vacation, and she is home, having unfortunately to work this week. Sunday afternoon, I hung out with her and a couple of her friends, and over a wonderful supper was treated a very funny story involving spiders.

Now, I'm not a big spider fan, by any stretch of the imagination. I generally loathe the creatures, for the idea of them crawling all over me just makes my skin crawl. It doesn't matter how big or small they are, they're spiders, and therefore I strongly dislike them. Rachael is the same way, though I would say she takes the dislike even further, so far as to literally get into hysterics when they appear, hyperventilate, cry. I will admit to at one point being close to that point in my fear, but I think traveling to Morocco and seeing some of the huge critters over there took away some of that.

Her story involved a huge spider making its appearance in her home Saturday night late, and her attempts at killing it. It was approximately the size of a half-dollar coin, and was very acrobatic in nature (jumping at will in all directions, and zooming all around her family room). She said that she fretted about the house for approximately 10 minutes before desiding to stun said spider with Resolve before mashing its guts into her carpet with a heavy-duty cardboard box. No sooner had she killed Spider #1 and gotten ready for bed when Spider #2 reared its ugly head. She attempted to kill it via the same way, but it was too quick for her and ran under her entertainment center. Cut to Sunday afternoon, prior to us having dinner, when it finally showed itself and was treated to the same fate as Spider #1.

Now, her retelling of the story was absolutely hysterical, for she included all the little motions, quirks and nuances that come with hearing and seeing a storyteller, despite my abhorrence of these creatures. I think it had something to do with the fact that it was indeed a funny story looking back on it, and I had absolutely no involvement with it, whatsoever. That made it safe. Or, so I thought.

I hung out with Rachael again last night for a girl's night, seeing as her family is still away, and she was getting lonely. We were in the middle of the movie when I saw it. Yes, another spider. This one, according to Rachael, was the biggest one she'd seen thus far. And when I say big, I mean big enough to fit the circumference of a coffee mug (body and legs included).

I pointed it out to her calmly (all the while thanking God that my feet were off the floor and resting on the coffee table), and she proceeded to act as I knew she would. I kept my eye on it while she rushed to the laundry room to grab the Resolve. But because of the quick movements, Spider #3 bolted underneath the entertainment center. After moving some of the kid's play things away from the general area and procuring a flashlight, I got down as close as I dared to the entertainment center and shined the light, hoping to draw the spider out so we could kill it. I saw nothing (Rachael, meanwhile is curled up on the sofa). She goes off to see if she can find something heavy which to use to kill the spider once it appears, while I search the areas on either side of the entertainment center. And I find it, hiding within the cables underneath her work desk. I calmly tell her to hand me the Resolve. And then many things happen in very quick succession.

I spray it once, and it runs, heading towards my feet. I continue spraying madly, while Rae starts to frantically shake her hands and wonder what could be heavy enough to squish it. I point out the very heavy, very full CD case sitting next to her, as I continue to spray this thing. I'd never seen a spider running that fast, nor could I believe that the amount of chemicals I was spraying it weren't killing it. She dropped the CD case on it and proceeded to squish it into the carpet, all the while screeching. She pulls it away to see a very unsquished spider still running like mad. I continue to spray, attempting to not let her hysterics get me all worked up, but the thing starts crawling all over the CD case and again towards me. Rachael runs off to try and find something heavier, and I keep spraying. It's still not dying. Rachael isn't getting back to me fast enough, so I resort to grinding the bottom of the spray bottle on its by now very wet body (because it just did not want to die). The first very hard hit didn't kill it either. Nor did the second. The third one finally started to slow it down, and by the fourth or fifth its body was starting to fall apart, and then I kept hitting it, just for good measure. Only after its body was completely mangled and in pieces did I stop. (You can call me extreme if you like, but when you don't like spiders, you make sure they're completely dead. Especially if you try to kill it goodness knows how many times before hand using lots of chemicals, heavy CD cases and lots of hitting and it still refuses to die.)

And then the two of us looked at each other and laughed and laughed. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. My friend complimented me on how calmly I handled the entire situation, but that was just on the outside - my insides weren't too happy with me at that moment. The beauty of the whole thing is that we used carpet cleaner on it, so all we had to do in order to get the spider stains out of the carpet was clean it up. That, and the entire house smelled clean like Resolve (to the point of producing a headache).

While she described the whole ordeal to her husband over the phone, I took it upon myself to declare to any other spiders that might have been lurking around the family room, "Okay, you've seen what happens to your friends when they show their ugly faces. That will be your fate, should and when you choose to show yours. It would be in your best interest to immediately vacate these premises, if you value your life. This is your only warning! You show your face, you die! Now, leave!"

I would like to say that thus ends the saga of the spiders, but it doesn't. My friend emailed me this morning to tell me that, after getting back from dropping me off, there in the middle of the floor in the family room, sitting proudly like he was king of the mountain, was Spider #4. And almost right after I'd given him the talking to! The nerve! Well, Rachael decided to 'change things up' a bit by using Oust, figuring it couldn't hurt to try a different chemical. Well, Spider #4 is now currently the nicest-smelling alive spider ever to walk on the planet. It didn't work. He ran off before she could finish him off. The saga continues.

And the moral of the story, children: Keep a bottle of Resolve handy should any spiders decide it might be fun to try and run up your legs. It kills quicker and smells just as fresh as Oust any day.

My World is a Flood

2007-09-18T16:54:00.000-04:00

In my wanderings around my house this morning, while still in the process of waking up and procurring myself a much-needed cup of coffee, I heard a sound that one doesn't usually hear coming from the boiler room on our first floor. At first, I couldn't be sure it was coming from the downstairs, as my mother was upstairs in the process of getting a shower, so I stood at the top of the stairs to get a better listen. And then I heard it - the unmistakable sound of rushing water.

I am immediately awake, and after hastily setting down a small glass of orange juice I'd been finishing up, rushed down to investigate. Sure enough, I walk in, and the floor of the boiler room is covered in water, water spewing out of the pipes of the hot water heater. There was a visible amount of water covering the floor, and all of the items taking up residence in the boiler room were completely soaked.

I call my father down to see it as I rush upstairs to get my mother to shut off the water. We remove all that we can out of the boiler room to find that, thankfully, nothing appears to be significantly damaged (the greatest extent to the damage might have just been the cardboard boxes that held various blankets/tools/etc.). And then we proceed to mop up the water and clean up the floor. After a few more minutes, the problem is diagnosed: one of the pipes had 'fallen off' (the words of my father, not mine; I am by no means a technical-type who'd understand the ins and outs and terminology associated with pipes bursting), and with the help of a ladder and the force exerted in one hard push, the issue was resolved.

Thankfully, it appears that we do not have to replace anything (we just replaced the hot water heater this past Thanksgiving). I just have to wonder why in the world my family has such an affinity to floods. This is not the first time we've had water issues at home; my mother's also had a flood in her home. There have been at least three floods at the church (that I am aware of), and prior to that, the bookstore that my father and mother worked at had way too many floods for its own good.

Anyone know of a good ark?

The Tales that Really Matter

2007-09-17T12:17:00.000-04:00

Madeleine L'Engle has passed away.

I read her book, A Wrinkle in Time, many times while I was growing up. I always loved it. And it stayed with me. There are some books that become a part of who you are, no matter how old you get, and so it makes me sad to hear of her passing. Thank you Ms. L'Engle, for your books, your time, and the legacy you left behind.

"We are all strangers in a strange land, longing for home, but not quite knowing what or where home is. We glimpse it sometimes in our dreams, or as we turn a corner, and suddenly there is a strange, sweet familiarity that vanishes almost as soon as it comes." -The Rock That is Higher

"Just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist." -A Wrinkle in Time

"You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself. What you say is completely up to you." -A Wrinkle in Time

EDIT: I just heard that Robert Jordan has also passed away. I haven't read any of The Wheel of Time books yet, but I have intentions to read them. The world has lost yet another influential and prolific fantasy writer.

A.P.B. out on: My Voice

2007-09-17T10:02:00.000-04:00

MISSING: My voice

Last heard: Saturday night at the Delaware Football Game

Owner is very desirous of its recovery. If you have any knowledge of its whereabouts, please drop me a line.

Reward offered: My undying thanks and eternal gratitude. And chocolate.

Yours Truly, Angry Mob

2007-09-14T09:26:00.000-04:00

I can prove anything
I'll make you admit again and again
That I can prove anything
The way that it's read again and again

And it's only 'cause you came here with your brothers too
If you came here on your own, you'd be dead
It's only 'cause you follow what the others do
It's no excuse to say you're easily lead

You can choose anything
You choose to lose again and again
You could do anything
Why should you do anything again

And it's only 'cause you came here with your brothers too
If you came here on your own, you'd be dead
You're winding yourself up until you're turning blue
Repeating everything that you've read

So here we go with the letter
Well, can you fix it for me
Because we need entertainment
To keep us all off the streets
So tonight you'll sleep softly in your bed

You can try anything
And no one would know apart from you and me
You can stop anything
It starts with just one and turns to two then three

It's only 'cause you came here with your brothers too
If you came here on your own you'd be dead
You raise a glass until
You raise a fist or two
And get a shopping basket wrapped round your head

So here we go with the letter
Oh, can you fix it for me
Twenty-four hour drinking
To keeps us all off the streets
So tonight you'll sleep softly in your bed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers every day
We like who we like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers every day
We like who we like
We hate who we hate
But we're all so easily swayed

We are the angry mob

-The Angry Mob, Kaiser Chiefs

Birthday Cake

2007-09-12T12:57:00.000-04:00

We celebrated staff birthdays yesterday, and here's a picture of the cake that we got to enjoy. Butter cake with raspberry filling in between the layers, and a butter cream icing. Yummy!

Where Were You When...

2007-09-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I didn't know anything had happened. By an odd coincidence, I didn't have the radio on at all while I was driving to my classes. I didn't pay any attention to the radio on the bus ride into campus - I was too busy finishing up my Literature reading and studying for a Latin verb quiz. I walked to my 9:30 class in silence, by myself. I remember vaguely hearing a girl in my English class mention something about the World Trade Center to another classmate before the professor came in. She asked us if any of us knew anything about what was happening in New York City, something about a plane hitting one of the Towers of the WTC. No one really knew anything, and the impression she gave was that some small plane hit grazed the top of the tower, or something small like that. She just waved her hand, and started in on Charles Brockden Brown's Edgar Huntley like nothing was wrong. After class, I pulled out my Latin notes and started reviewing them as I walked to class and happened to pass through the Trabant Center. It was then that it hit me that something was really wrong, for the entire placed was packed, people crowded around all the TVs. I took a few minutes to check out what was going on, and in one fell swoop learned that both towers had been hit, both had fallen, the Pentagon had been hit and a plane had gone down in a field in Pennsylvania. I didn't want to leave, but had to get to my other class. I passed a girl who was shrieking into the payphone, trying to make sure a loved one was okay. One of my friends who was in RotC was ready to leave that very day to start dishing out paybacks. I got to my Latin class, and our professor carried on like everything was normal, for she had no TV at home and didn't pay any attention to the news. After about 10 minutes of her mindless chatter, a classmate asked in frustration if we could just get the bloody quiz over and done with and get out of there, and then we had to explain to her what had happened. She understood and gave us the quiz and let us leave. I went home, found out from my parents that my uncle had up until earlier that year worked in one of the towers, and spent the rest of the day numb. I was very fortunate not to have lost family that day, or have to suffer through the pain and loss that day brought, and so today I say a prayer for those who are still dealing with this tragedy. My heart goes out to you.

Happy Birthday!

2007-09-10T16:50:00.000-04:00

My dear friend Laura had a birthday over the weekend! She threw a 'surprise' party for herself Friday evening, little knowing that the true surprise paty was the next day - a day of fun outdoors, complete with hiking and lots of outdoor excitement! It is such fun to spend time with her. Happy Birthday, my wonderful friend!

The Grey Havens, Part the Second!

2007-09-07T16:58:00.000-04:00

Well, here it is!

After the reheresal dinner, we all went back to the inn and spent a good hour folding Misty's programs. If you click on the picture, you'll be able to see them better. They were folded like this game we used to play, the one where you'd fold a piece of paper on it in about 20 ways (or some such number) and then read off numbers and colors and count and then you'd supposedly get your fortune read. When we were growing up, my cousins and I would spend hours playing that game. It was neat to see. And I have no idea what my father was doing to have made a face like that...

The cliffs by the water's edge that I spent some time climbing. I climbed down to them Saturday afternoon, as we had loads of free time before the wedding started. I spent a good bit of down on the dock too.

A view of the dock and an idea of how far down I came to get to the water's edge. It wasn't all that harrowing. ;-)

On the cliffs.

And yet another view off the cliff.

My brother and his girlfriend, Alisha. She's the sweetest thing ever!

Wedding time! My at-that-time cousin-to-be waiting intently for his bride. Where is she?

Oh, there she is! And she was absolutely gorgeous!

They said their own vows to each other. Oddly enough, I could only here Keith's as where I was standing with my mom and our flutes/the flute stand, the wind was to us, and we couldn't here a word she said. (*Note to self: send her an email to ask her what she said.)

"'Nother one bites the dust..." The deed is done!

Nana, Aunt Carmen, Misty & Keith, Kevin, Angel and Autumn. My family has made me so very happy. :-)

Wedding funness!

All partied out and time to head to bed...

...but not before cake! Okay, confession: I didn't really like this cake. I can say that without feeling guilty because Mist was telling me up until the night before that she was jealous of the wedding cake I'd gotten at my brother's wedding. And after tasting her cake, I had to say that I agreed with her. Mrs. Z's wedding cake has now spoiled me! But it still was pretty.

Sunrise on Sunday. It was so peaceful.

And the sea looked like glass and those ships called me home...

Luciano Pavarotti

2007-09-06T09:22:00.000-04:00

Luciano Pavarotti

1935-2007

The Grey Havens, Part the First!

2007-09-04T17:00:00.000-04:00

My weekend in Maine! In parts, because it's taking me a lot longer to get this formatted the way I'd like, and I really want to get home to eat my dinner.

The view from the plane window. It was absolutely beautiful! It's views like this that take away the annoyance that was driving down to Baltimore to fly to Philadelphia and then have a layover that turned into a delayed flight from Philadelphia to Portland, getting us there in about the same amount of time it would have taken us to drive there.

The view from the front porch

The front porch

The Grey Havens Inn. Look - it's got turrets!

View off the side of the cliff . We got there early enough on Friday afternoon that we could do a little exploring around the property. It was absolutely beautiful!

Brother and sister-love!

Black-eyed Susans are some of my favorite flowers.

Alas! No picture of myself in front of the sign.

This was the room I shared with my brothers and sister-in-love. I took the bed closest to the window, because I have this love of letting the morning light wake me up. I love to get up early in the morning, because everything is so peaceful and calm and still, and I can spend time thinking and praying. I unfortunately don't do it as much as I should.

Several of the walls throughout the entire inn were wallpapered in old music. It was a neat idea, but loving music as I do, it was kind of sad to see all the old music torn up.

*****
Up next...folding machines, a harrowing trek down a mountain side, and pictures from the actual wedding! Stay tuned!

The night is gone and the dawn has broken

2007-08-30T09:21:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wonder what's been buried under your shoes?
Do you ever wonder why troubles come in twos and threes and still-

All of our days are filled with joy and laughter
It's just a taste of the sweet, sweet hereafter
Where all of our names will be spoken
Like a dream that we awoke in
When the night is gone and the dawn has broken

Do you ever wonder what's been carried over your head?
Do you ever wonder why we don't just sleep the day away in bed?

Do you ever wonder what's been hidden behind your back?
Do you ever wonder why we want the things we lack and still-

All of our days are filled with joy and laughter
It's just a taste of the sweet, sweet hereafter
Where all of our names will be spoken
Like a dream that we awoke in
When the night is gone and the dawn has broken

Do you ever wonder what's appeared before your eyes?
Do you ever wonder why we can't just break the ties that hold us here where-

All of our days are filled with joy and laughter
It's just a taste of the sweet, sweet hereafter
Where all of our names will be spoken
Like a dream that we awoke in
When the night is gone and the dawn is broken

-"Sweet, Sweet Hereafter" by Clive

I must go down to the sea again

2007-08-27T11:10:00.000-04:00

I must go down to the sea again

To the lonely sea and the sky

And all I ask is a tall ship

And a star to steer her by